Tend To Your Secret Garden…

March 12, 2010 – 5:34 pm

Weed out disappointments, frustrations, diminished ambitions, unfulfilled expectations and anger about what has gone before or what has not yet come.

To take control of your health, you need to first activate your emotional and mental well being. Yes, we can eat healthy foods, drink more water each day, add fiber to our diet, take vitamins and even exercise. However, all these will be little steps and will not be as beneficial, if we do not find peace within.

Stress and inner conflicts such as disappointments, frustrations, anger, etc. affect our physical health. These things become chronic stressors on our system. Cortisol increases which in turn forces our adrenal glands to over work. We lose energy. We then don’t sleep well. Chronic fatigue sets in. It becomes a vicious cycle that taxes more of our organs and our physical health slowly deteriorates.

Therefore, addressing physical needs does not take care of the root cause. Our emotional well being is where it all begins. By letting go of the past and being in control of the present, you will look forward to the future. Your physical health will be so much stronger. You will be productive and like who you are.

The best way to tend to your emotional and mental well being is to strengthen you self-image. And of course, to do that you use Positive Self-Talk every day! Make it a part of your day. Remind yourself that you are special and you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.

Set those goals and listen to the Positive Self-Talk CD’s. Get direction, support and encouragement from me, a certified Life Coach. I can keep you focused and motivated as you work toward nurturing your well being.

Remember: Tend To Your Secret Garden first to start the Natural Healing of your whole body.


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Learn Self-Responsibility

February 20, 2010 – 6:26 pm

What do we do when we know we need to make changes in our life but don’t know how to make that move, aren’t motivated or are fearful? Sometimes it is easier to stay where we are, even if it hurts, rather than challenge ourselves. Why do we want to possibly fail?

Here are a few things that might MOVE  YOU FORWARD:

1. Focus on doing one new thing. Little steps lead to big steps. It could be as simple as speaking first when you see someone new or listening to a relaxation tape to get started in letting go of anxiety. Writing down one goal for the week and focusing on that might be a first step or practice saying positive things one day, etc. Remember that it took a long time to get where you are now so it will take a while to get where you want to go. Compliment yourself for that little step that you do take.

2  Perhaps asking yourself some questions will  motivate or direct you to where you want to be. See if any of these questions help to motivate or guide you to action:

What possibilities for action exist?

What can I do?

What am I willing to do to get what I WANT?

If I wanted to be fully self-responsible right now, what     would I be doing?

3. Make a list of what can happen to you if you make a change in your life. Then star the one thing that would be the worst that could happen. Now go through the list and ask yourself what you could do if that happened. Remember that you are in control of your life.

4. Listen to this presentation on fear by Steven Horne. http://www.treelite.com/downloads.php You might find some of his suggestions helpful.

5. Tell yourself: My response is my responsibility. It is easy to blame others or circumstances for the unhappiness we feel about our life. However, that doesn’t help us find the inner happiness or peace we are looking for. Our actions and attitude make the difference and guide us to where we want to go. Believe in yourself.

It is your time to MOVE FORWARD and to take control of your life. There is no perfect path to follow so if you make a mistake or falter in your steps that is ok. We learn from mistakes. At least you are trying to reach for what you really want.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOU!

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Looking and Moving Forward

January 16, 2010 – 7:50 pm

“When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives, but are grateful for the abundance that’s present…we experience heaven on earth.” BJ Gallagher

It is during the beginning of the New Year that we seem to make resolutions to ‘change our ways or habits’. We have good intentions but many times lose site of these resolutions as we go through each busy day. Change can be difficult. Trying to break a bad habit takes time and much effort.

This year try taking a different approach. Rather than looking at the negatives in your life, focus on the positives. Instead of making resolutions, try writing down goals. Look forward. What is it that you want to accomplish? Write it down. Then write down two things that might get in your way to reach your goal. And lastly, write down two or three actions that you can do to start working toward your goal. Work on two or three goals. These could be in any areas of your life. If you would like more direction or support, I’d be happy to help you. Call me at 585-346-7334.

To keep you motivated, practice saying positive things. Become more aware of your positive and negative statements or comments. Every time you catch yourself saying something negative, rephrase it into a positive statement. With practice, this will become easier and be said more naturally. Also, praise yourself. Each of you has grown up with hearing many more negative comments than positive about yourself until you believed them. Now you act on what you believe, whether they are true or not. You want to reprogram yourself. To do that you can use what is called ‘positive self-talk’. Look at your goals and write a short paragraph related to your goals telling you in a positive way what kind of person you are. For example, repeatedly throughout the day tell yourself that you are a wonderful, competent person or that you are a very organized and reliable worker. Read your paragraph at least twice a day each day for at least a month. If you would prefer, you can buy a set of Dr. Shad Helmstetter’s Self-Talk CD’s that work on each area of your life. Just contact me at 585-346-7334.

You will start seeing little changes in your life. Your day will go more smoothly. You will be interacting more with positive people. You might sleep better or feel healthier. You will increase the number of times that you are pleased with yourself. You will feel empowered. Amazing things will keep coming into your life. Believe me, amazing things have and continue to happen to me!

Lastly, be sure to express your gratitude for what is in your life, for the positive or good things that are happening each and every day of your life. A suggestion is to start your day expressing your gratefulness for what you are starting your day with. Then at the end of each day be sure to review your day and express your thankfulness for the good that has happened. You will see your life move forward.

As you see, my blog entries seem to repeat three specific things; setting goals, thinking and talking positively and expressing one’s gratitude. These are powerful tools that can bring positive change into your life.  Are you ready to make a difference and move your life forward?

Remember: “When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present…we experience heaven on earth.”

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Loneliness During the Holidays

December 23, 2009 – 8:52 am

FEELING ALONE

The Holiday Season can be one of the most difficult times for those who are alone or feel lonely.  Both can bring much stress and in turn, illness or depression.

For those who are alone, it might help to write down a list of things you can do during  those days so you are focused on activity and not the lonely feeling. Plan to have a couple of movies available.  A suggested movie is, “The Secret”. It helps you see that you do have control over your life. It emphasizes that ones attitude can make a big difference. Have puzzles, video or computer games. Have a good book available. One book is, “What To Say When You Talk To Your Self” by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. These are just a few ideas to help distract you from being alone. Loneliness is a feeling and we can change those feelings by focusing on what we have control over or what we can do at the time. We can redirect our thoughts which in turn will help overcome those negative feelings.

For those of you who feel lonely but are among people, I suggest that you write down what you expect of yourself, family and others during these holidays. Many times our expectations are unrealistic or so rigid that when something unexpected happens we get upset, blame ourselves or feel others are not living up to what ‘should’ be. By writing down your expectations you can read them and reflect on whether they are realistic. Remind yourself that these might not be met and ask yourself how will you deal with these things.

Remember that happiness does not come from material things or from others. It comes from within. Being aware of what you want from these holidays can help you be patient with yourself and others or not read into how others are reacting to you. Try to appreciate  the moment. Be aware of the positive things happening to you each day or at each event. And always express your gratitude for what you do have though it might not be what you want or are use to.  There are others who have it worse than you.

As stated in October’s blog, We all face adversity in life, it’s how we react to it that determines our joy in life.

May you find peace within yourself during these special times.


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Holiday Stress

November 30, 2009 – 6:57 pm

STEP BY STEP

As the Holiday Season begins, a good way to deal with all the extra things you feel you need to do is to WRITE DOWN your goals.  Start with two or three over all goals. Write down a couple of obstacles and then how you will overcome those obstacles. Then each day write down what two or three goals you want to accomplish for the day. Write down the obstacles and then the actions you plan to take to  overcome those obstacles.

Cross out each action as you accomplish them and CELEBRATE. Give yourself a compliment, hug, cheer. In some way congratulate yourself.

Remember that you need to WRITE the goals down. You will have a much higher rate of success when you write your goals down.  And be sure to do this at least once a day. It is a great habit to get into and you will see wonderful rewards!!

This is a great way to manage stress and enjoy this busy but wonderful season.

MERRY CHRISTMAS HAPPY HANUKKAH

HAPPY KAWANZA                  HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL

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