Learn Self-Responsibility

February 20, 2010 – 6:26 pm

What do we do when we know we need to make changes in our life but don’t know how to make that move, aren’t motivated or are fearful? Sometimes it is easier to stay where we are, even if it hurts, rather than challenge ourselves. Why do we want to possibly fail?

Here are a few things that might MOVE  YOU FORWARD:

1. Focus on doing one new thing. Little steps lead to big steps. It could be as simple as speaking first when you see someone new or listening to a relaxation tape to get started in letting go of anxiety. Writing down one goal for the week and focusing on that might be a first step or practice saying positive things one day, etc. Remember that it took a long time to get where you are now so it will take a while to get where you want to go. Compliment yourself for that little step that you do take.

2  Perhaps asking yourself some questions will  motivate or direct you to where you want to be. See if any of these questions help to motivate or guide you to action:

What possibilities for action exist?

What can I do?

What am I willing to do to get what I WANT?

If I wanted to be fully self-responsible right now, what     would I be doing?

3. Make a list of what can happen to you if you make a change in your life. Then star the one thing that would be the worst that could happen. Now go through the list and ask yourself what you could do if that happened. Remember that you are in control of your life.

4. Listen to this presentation on fear by Steven Horne. http://www.treelite.com/downloads.php You might find some of his suggestions helpful.

5. Tell yourself: My response is my responsibility. It is easy to blame others or circumstances for the unhappiness we feel about our life. However, that doesn’t help us find the inner happiness or peace we are looking for. Our actions and attitude make the difference and guide us to where we want to go. Believe in yourself.

It is your time to MOVE FORWARD and to take control of your life. There is no perfect path to follow so if you make a mistake or falter in you steps that is ok. We learn from mistakes. At least you are trying to reach for what you really want.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOU!


By Susan | Posted in My Blog | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (0)

Looking and Moving Forward

January 16, 2010 – 7:50 pm

“When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives, but are grateful for the abundance that’s present…we experience heaven on earth.” BJ Gallagher

It is during the beginning of the New Year that we seem to make resolutions to ‘change our ways or habits’. We have good intentions but many times lose site of these resolutions as we go through each busy day. Change can be difficult. Trying to break a bad habit takes time and much effort.

This year try taking a different approach. Rather than looking at the negatives in your life, focus on the positives. Instead of making resolutions, try writing down goals. Look forward. What is it that you want to accomplish? Write it down. Then write down two things that might get in your way to reach your goal. And lastly, write down two or three actions that you can do to start working toward your goal. Work on two or three goals. These could be in any areas of your life. If you would like more direction or support, I’d be happy to help you. Call me at 585-346-7334.

To keep you motivated, practice saying positive things. Become more aware of your positive and negative statements or comments. Every time you catch yourself saying something negative, rephrase it into a positive statement. With practice, this will become easier and be said more naturally. Also, praise yourself. Each of you has grown up with hearing many more negative comments than positive about yourself until you believed them. Now you act on what you believe, whether they are true or not. You want to reprogram yourself. To do that you can use what is called ‘positive self-talk’. Look at your goals and write a short paragraph related to your goals telling you in a positive way what kind of person you are. For example, repeatedly throughout the day tell yourself that you are a wonderful, competent person or that you are a very organized and reliable worker. Read your paragraph at least twice a day each day for at least a month. If you would prefer, you can buy a set of Dr. Shad Helmstetter’s Self-Talk CD’s that work on each area of your life. Just contact me at 585-346-7334.

You will start seeing little changes in your life. Your day will go more smoothly. You will be interacting more with positive people. You might sleep better or feel healthier. You will increase the number of times that you are pleased with yourself. You will feel empowered. Amazing things will keep coming into your life. Believe me, amazing things have and continue to happen to me!

Lastly, be sure to express your gratitude for what is in your life, for the positive or good things that are happening each and every day of your life. A suggestion is to start your day expressing your gratefulness for what you are starting your day with. Then at the end of each day be sure to review your day and express your thankfulness for the good that has happened. You will see your life move forward.

As you see, my blog entries seem to repeat three specific things; setting goals, thinking and talking positively and expressing one’s gratitude. These are powerful tools that can bring positive change into your life.  Are you ready to make a difference and move your life forward?

Remember: “When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present…we experience heaven on earth.”

By Susan | Posted in My Blog | Tagged , , , , | Comments (0)

Loneliness During the Holidays

December 23, 2009 – 8:52 am

FEELING ALONE

The Holiday Season can be one of the most difficult times for those who are alone or feel lonely.  Both can bring much stress and in turn, illness or depression.

For those who are alone, it might help to write down a list of things you can do during  those days so you are focused on activity and not the lonely feeling. Plan to have a couple of movies available.  A suggested movie is, “The Secret”. It helps you see that you do have control over your life. It emphasizes that ones attitude can make a big difference. Have puzzles, video or computer games. Have a good book available. One book is, “What To Say When You Talk To Your Self” by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. These are just a few ideas to help distract you from being alone. Loneliness is a feeling and we can change those feelings by focusing on what we have control over or what we can do at the time. We can redirect our thoughts which in turn will help overcome those negative feelings.

For those of you who feel lonely but are among people, I suggest that you write down what you expect of yourself, family and others during these holidays. Many times our expectations are unrealistic or so rigid that when something unexpected happens we get upset, blame ourselves or feel others are not living up to what ’should’ be. By writing down your expectations you can read them and reflect on whether they are realistic. Remind yourself that these might not be met and ask yourself how will you deal with these things.

Remember that happiness does not come from material things or from others. It comes from within. Being aware of what you want from these holidays can help you be patient with yourself and others or not read into how others are reacting to you. Try to appreciate  the moment. Be aware of the positive things happening to you each day or at each event. And always express your gratitude for what you do have though it might not be what you want or are use to.  There are others who have it worse than you.

As stated in October’s blog, We all face adversity in life, it’s how we react to it that determines our joy in life.

May you find peace within yourself during these special times.


By Susan | Posted in My Blog | Tagged , , , , | Comments (0)

Holiday Stress

November 30, 2009 – 6:57 pm

STEP BY STEP

As the Holiday Season begins, a good way to deal with all the extra things you feel you need to do is to WRITE DOWN your goals.  Start with two or three over all goals. Write down a couple of obstacles and then how you will overcome those obstacles. Then each day write down what two or three goals you want to accomplish for the day. Write down the obstacles and then the actions you plan to take to  overcome those obstacles.

Cross out each action as you accomplish them and CELEBRATE. Give yourself a compliment, hug, cheer. In some way congratulate yourself.

Remember that you need to WRITE the goals down. You will have a much higher rate of success when you write your goals down.  And be sure to do this at least once a day. It is a great habit to get into and you will see wonderful rewards!!

This is a great way to manage stress and enjoy this busy but wonderful season.

MERRY CHRISTMAS HAPPY HANUKKAH

HAPPY KAWANZA                  HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL

By Susan | Posted in My Blog | Tagged , , | Comments (0)

Our Choice

October 30, 2009 – 6:57 pm

We all face adversity in life, it’s how we react to it that determines our joy in life.

When we deal with our everyday life, we can become overwhelmed. We can lose our motivation to continue on. Our failures from the past cause us to second guess ourselves and in turn, we question why we should keep trying.

During these times, it is important that we focus on the challenge at hand and remind ourselves that each day is a new day. Failures or mistakes can help us learn and become stronger in our belief in ourselves. This helps us look forward and realize that we can make our present better.

We have the ability and the choice to make our present time as positive as we want. Challenges can be seen as a heart ache, as an insurmountable event. We can beat ourselves up and question why this is happening to us or we will never get over such a happening.

However, trying to see the positive in a situation can help us bring good things to us. Yes, it isn’t always easy but if we practice thinking and saying positive things during the good times, we will be able to find the positive thought to say when we are fasted with adversity.

We can start listening to ourselves when we talk to someone. When the conversation is over, we write down or ask ourselves, “How could we have said that in a more positive way?” We try to ‘catch’ ourselves being negative and rephrase the statement with positive words.

Another way we can practice is to start a “Gratitude” Book. We begin with writing in a journal all the things we can think of that we are thankful for. Then each day we list at least three things that we are thankful for. Ideally, we do this twice a day, once in the am and once before we go to sleep. We do this for at least 30 days so it becomes a habit.

Each day we have a choice to face life in a positive way or in a negative way, no matter what comes our way. We are blessed with choice. Only we determine what kind of day and life we will have.

Remember: We all face adversity in life, it’s how we react to it that determines our joy in life.


By Susan | Posted in My Blog | Tagged , , , | Comments (0)

Our Attitude

September 5, 2009 – 6:20 pm

“Don’t Look at the Problems, Search for the Possibilities”

It is easy to get wrapped up in our problems or feel sorry for ourselves when things don’t go the way we think they should. The depression or negative thoughts can suck the life out of us. The answer is to have goals written down so we can remind ourselves of what we are working towards. We need those little reminders or steps to help us walk away from the negative feelings and actions. Try to do something simple each day that helps get closer to at least one of your goals. Little steps add up to big steps. When we see progress, we can compliment ourselves and we feel good about ourselves. It helps us see a light at the end of the tunnel and we are motivated to keep reaching for our dreams.

Brainstorming possibilities and actions is another way to help us keep looking for answers to our problems. Writing these down is a powerful way to get our thoughts focused on where we want to go and what we want in our life. We also need to continue giving ourselves positive self-talk. Try not to question our abilities and actions or lack of actions. Visualize what you want to be doing. This all leads to believing in ourselves and in what we want. These actions keep us motivated, which in turn gets us to reach our goals.

Note that the H1N1 flu and the Health Care Reform issue are problems that we need to search for possible answers rather than focus on the problem. Read and gather as much information as you can so you can make intelligent decisions about each problem. Our media doesn’t always give us the facts so we need to gather information and verify each ‘fact’ at least three times to make it worth believing.

Remember, “Don’t Look at the Problems. Search for the Possibilities.”


By Susan | Posted in My Blog | Tagged , , , , | Comments (0)

Is Our Physical Health Related To Our Emotional Health?

July 18, 2009 – 7:26 pm

“Change Your Thoughts, Change Your World” By Norman Vincent Peale

It is so much easier to try to lose weight, go to the doctor, change our eating habits, or even exercise (though these are not simple tasks) than to change our thinking. When we have a physical problem we search to get rid of the symptoms rather than look at our whole person. Yet, research is finding that our emotions, our thoughts are a very important key to our well being, physically and emotionally.

Our thoughts dominate our mind through the day…and night. If our thoughts are negative, our body physically reacts. If our thoughts are positive, our body reacts in different ways. We need to be aware that our thoughts trigger our feelings and emotions which in turn affect our body and our health.

Therefore, reflecting on our thought patterns can help us achieve or maintain good health. Start with keeping track of your negative comments and responses for a day. Make a tally of them. If it is too difficult to keep track of your responses, then start with tally the negative comments of a family member or a co-worker. The point is to start becoming aware of your negative comments, then thoughts.

The next step, would be to try to change the comments and thoughts into positive words. This is no easy task as we have been programmed through our life to use more negatives than positives.

A good activity to help you get good at positive comments rather than negative ones is to write down some of the negative comments others or yourself have said. Then rewrite these negative comments in the positive. This takes practice but the more you practice, the easier it will get to comment AND think in the positive.

As you talk and think more in the positives, you will notice that you feel more energized, happier and you will be drawn to people who are positive. And lastly, you will find that more positive things are happening in your life. You can truly, CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Has anyone experienced this?

Repeat each day,  “Change my thoughts, Change my world! “


By Susan | Posted in My Blog | Tagged , , , | Comments (0)

Question?

June 22, 2009 – 6:37 pm
When or how  do we know our behavior is a learned habit or just a part of our personality? We know we can change our  habits, though not easily but can we change our personality? Can changing our habits or personality, change what happens to us, what experiences we have, our life?
Nature versus nurture, personality traits versus learned behaviors. These are discussions that help us challenge ourselves to achieve our dreams and obtain our goals.
What are your thoughts?
By Susan | Posted in My Blog | Tagged , , | Comments (0)

Reach Dreams by Setting Goals

May 31, 2009 – 5:06 pm

Dream big dreams, but realize….short term realistic goals are the keys to success.

Setting goals help make our dreams come true, step by step. Write well defined objectives that you want to reach. Focus on two or three goals at a time. Set a specific date to help motivate you to an end result. Then write out one or two obstacles or things that you think could get in your way of reaching your goal. Next, write three to four action steps that you can do to reach your goal. Be sure to set a date for each action plan to be completed. It is ok to change the date as you go along but a date gives you a specific time to work with. Lastly, read your goals at least once a day and keep them close to your thoughts so each day you are working toward your goals.

It’s ok to modify your goals or action steps. Your purpose is to achieve your goals. Things change. We change. Always look for the positive things you are doing as you work toward your goals.

Compliment and reward yourself when you complete an action step. When you achieve one of your goals, Celebrate!! And praise yourself. You will be one step closer to your dreams.

Repeat each day:

Dream big dreams, but I realize….short term realistic goals are the keys to success.


By Susan | Posted in My Blog | Tagged , , | Comments (0)

Strengthen Your Self-Esteem

May 14, 2009 – 7:00 pm

“Remember, no one can make you feel inferior with out your consent.”                                    Elenore Roosevelt


Building our self-esteem begins with ourselves. Since we have been born, we have been hearing more negative comments than positive ones. These words have determined whether we believe in ourselves or not. It doesn’t matter if the words were true or not. Many times we sabotage ourselves because we believe that we can’t do something. We let those words from the past create our present.
However, it is those thoughts or conversations we have with ourselves that can help us to believe that we are capable of doing anything that we want to do. We can erase the negative words that keep racing in our heads and replace them with positive thinking.
When someone tells you that you look tired, instead of affirming that in your head, replace it with a positive thought like, “I feel energized or alert.” When you get negative feedback on your work, tell yourself that you are proud of yourself, that you did your best. You will take their suggestions but you know that you are a smart and intelligent person so you will learn from the experience.
Be your best friend. Start by being aware of the negative thoughts you have. If it helps, keep a tally. Then try to lessen the negative thoughts and increase the positive thoughts each day. When you get a negative thought, STOP, and try to change that thought into positive words. If it helps, talk to yourself out loud when you are alone. Do this for at least 30 days. The better you get at this, the more you will see that when someone says something demeaning to you, the words are less hurtful. You are able to let the words roll off your back because you know you are a great person. You are sure of your self-worth and any hurtful words or actions by others are their problem, not yours.

“Remember, no one can make you feel inferior with out your consent.” Repeat this each day till you believe it.

Should you want to work more on your self-esteem, contact me at susanlifecoach@gmail.com or call me at 585-346-7334. I can show you how to change your life through positive self-talk.
By Susan | Posted in My Blog | Tagged , | Comments (0)
-->