The Holiday Season can be one of the most difficult times for those who are alone or feel lonely. Both can bring much stress and in turn, illness or depression.
For those who are alone, it might help to write down a list of things you can do during those days so you are focused on activity and not the lonely feeling. Plan to have a couple of movies available. A suggested movie is, “The Secret”. It helps you see that you do have control over your life. It emphasizes that ones attitude can make a big difference. Have puzzles, video or computer games. Have a good book available. One book is, “What To Say When You Talk To Your Self” by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. These are just a few ideas to help distract you from being alone. Loneliness is a feeling and we can change those feelings by focusing on what we have control over or what we can do at the time. We can redirect our thoughts which in turn will help overcome those negative feelings.
For those of you who feel lonely but are among people, I suggest that you write down what you expect of yourself, family and others during these holidays. Many times our expectations are unrealistic or so rigid that when something unexpected happens we get upset, blame ourselves or feel others are not living up to what ‘should’ be. By writing down your expectations you can read them and reflect on whether they are realistic. Remind yourself that these might not be met and ask yourself how will you deal with these things.
Remember that happiness does not come from material things or from others. It comes from within. Being aware of what you want from these holidays can help you be patient with yourself and others or not read into how others are reacting to you. Try to appreciate the moment. Be aware of the positive things happening to you each day or at each event. And always express your gratitude for what you do have though it might not be what you want or are use to. There are others who have it worse than you.
As stated in October’s blog, We all face adversity in life, it’s how we react to it that determines our joy in life.
May you find peace within yourself during these special times.